2011年12月22日 星期四

分手

太强了

分手字典

目的论者(The Teleologist):We aren’t meant for each other.

道义论者(The Deontologist):We aren’t right for each other.

后果主义者(The Consequentialist): We aren’t optimal for each other.

唯我论者(The Solipsist):It’s not you, it’s me.

经验主义者(The Empiricist):I think we should see other people.

理性主义者(The Rationalist):I’m not a priority to you anymore.

理性主义者(The Rationalist):I’ve been doing some thinking…

理性主义者(The Rationalist):If you can’t see your faults, there’s nothing more I can say.

欧陆主义者(The Continentalist): You’ve lost that love and feeling.

平等主义者(The Egalitarian):This is the best thing for both of us.

家长权威主义者(The Paternalist):In time you’ll come to see that this is the best thing.

休谟主义者(The Humean):Just because we’re always together doesn’t mean we BELONG together.

休谟主义者(The Humean):Relationships need to be about more than just constant conjoining.

功能主义者(The Functionalist):I don’t care about accommodating your feelings.

蒯因主义者(The Quinean):I’m sorry, but you don’t mean anything to me anymore.

基础主义者(The Foundationalist): We have nothing left to build upon.

基础主义者(The Foundationalist): I need to be able to branch out more.

相对主义者(The Relativist):It’s no one’s fault.

无神论者(The Atheist):These things just happen.

康德主义者(The Kantian):You lied to me!

反构造论者(The anti-Fictionalist): I’m sick of faking it.

笛卡尔主义者(The Cartesian):I don’t clearly and distinctly perceive a future together.

黑格尔主义者(The Hegelian): Do we have to go through this again?

洛克主义者(The Lockean):Our primary qualities simply aren’t compatible.

洛克主义者(The Lockean):Compared to my last partner, I’m not getting nearly enough, nor as good.

准实在论者(The Quasi-Realist):Of course we’re going to be together forever.

动机外在论者(The Motivational Externalist): Even though I believed it at the time, I know now that I never really loved you.

行为主义者(The Behaviorist):I just can’t keep going through the motions anymore.

永恒论者(The Eternalist):At least we’ll always have that weekend in Paris.

模态实在论者(The Modal Realist):This will never work—we’re from different worlds.